Jessica Alba has beef-tongue lips

While in Mexico, i tried to keep a running total in my head of some of the sights we witnessed. Sadly, some of the more entertaining ones never increased at all.

-stripclubs visited: 2
-attractive strippers: 0
-boy vomiting poolside: 1
-times vomit was walked thru by his sister: 2
-moonlit walks on beach: 1
-eye-widening shooting stars: 1
-fantastic mullets: 1
-rockin' mustaches: too numerous
-female topless sunbathers: 1
-painfully sunburned people: 4 (including me)
-times we had to say "no, gracias" to peddlers during one meal: 12
-cuban cigars smoked by zieak: 1/2