Gotta use it... Its a Historic Moment

I have been planted on my fathers couch in Taos, New Mexico for the last 5 hours, watching the television, talking to family on the phone, and checking numerous blogs and news sites. I voted absentee almost 2 weeks ago, and have felt pretty confident since that America would make the right choice this time. It was so exciting to be somewhere else in the USA to experience election fever - for me it was the people standing on street corners holding "VOTE NOW" and "Honk for Obama" signs. The streets were filled with the usually annoying sound of honking cars, but today it was music to my ears. The road to recovery for our country is not going to be easy, but it is going to be smoother and more enjoyable with Obama behind the wheel.

Tomorrow we are going to see a white buffalo, and then maybe go see a movie in the evening. This is the third and final stop on our trip, and in each place it has started raining in our final days there. Taos has not let us down, as the warm raindrops started to fall this afternoon. We seriously cannot get away from the fricking stuff. Oh and Tiffany! I am happy to say that my dad has been converting VHS tapes from my childhood to DVD, and my pageant footage was included in it! I was no Sarah Palin, thats fo sho... But you can expect a post in the near future, hopefully including some embedded clips that will forever embarrass and haunt me, but your enjoyment is totally worth it!

7 years ago

Sam has taken a job driving cab from 6am-6pm. It doesnt pay well. He has already gotten up and gone to get the cab. I am fast asleep in the moldy apartment. I have started taking benadryl every night, just so i dont sniffle and cough while trying to get to sleep. The benadryl causes deep, restful sleep, but it also makes it twice as hard to get up when the alarm goes off. I am awoken by him, shaking me softly saying "get up, you have to see this." I groggily rub my eyes as i stumble into the spore-filled living room and plop down on the couch - the couch that conceals the mold crawling up the walls. On the too-bright television, there is a panicked voice, and words blurrily stream across the bottom of the screen. On the television, there is also a picture of two buildings, with big, jagged gunshot wounds. Thick black blood seems to be floating away from the wounds. As i sit and try to listen to Sam update me on what has happened, i find i cannot concentrate on his words. I manage to hear bits and pieces, but my tired eyes are glued to the television. I start crying, even though i really havent comprehended what exactly has happened, i just know its bad. It is then that i watch as one of the buildings crumples. Becomes a big cloud of dark gray and brown dust, just like that. The big red box in the corner screams at me "LIVE!" I watch horrified, eyes as big as saucers. In that moment, i am the awake-est i have ever been. I have just witnessed hundreds of people killed on live television.

The rest of the day is just... numb. People are not smiling. They are stopped in grocery store aisles, on sidewalks outside tv stores (just like in the movies,) in their cars with the radio on... listening to the horror.

That day could not end fast enough.

Just like the last two weeks. I am emotionally exhausted.

Attending not one but two friends funerals. Trying to be strong and not let the tears stream down my face. Knowing that crying is not going to change what happened or how anyone else feels. Saying the wrong thing (but who knows really) to someone who is grieving a lot harder than me. Meeting the brothers of the man who plowed our driveway for free all winter, only to do a horrible thing in the last 2 minutes of his life. Wishing that i had talked, asked, delved more into his life than i did. Thinking maybe its a good thing i didnt. Wanting next friday to be here tomorrow so i can fly and see my family and hug and kiss and hold and love and be loved.

Creepy day

I've always been a little jealous of the conspiracy theorist who frequents the bike shop. Mike constantly has stories about a certain fellow who will stand around for hours and expound on numerous random subjects. Mike could fill a blog with all of them (hint hint.) Well, today i had the pleasure of enjoying his company at Lux - he must have seen the "adult section" sign in the window because thats what he was most interested in. He kept repeating how great it was that there was one in this town. I thought the conversation was going to stay disappointingly tame, until he went to leave. He turned to me and said "You know, this town is full of prudes, who, behind closed doors, are just as evil evil evil... I could name quite a few, and you dont have to start any further than our own police station." I guess i need some pointers from Mike on how to react, because all i could do was raise my eyebrows and give an incredulous look. Then i nervously said "have a good day" as he wandered off.

The other creepy episode can be found over on Karna's blog... it didnt affect me but is still creepy nonetheless.

In other news, my best friend from high school just told me she made out with a pretty famous celebrity... I would post his name but my sister just informed me he is married. I guess if you marry a high-status celeb you have to be somewhat aware that stuff like that is going to happen. But my friend is innocent, she didnt know who he was when they met. Lets hope there's not a look-alike roaming around Seattle!

Solemnly sworn

Today i was in a court room for the third time in my life. If its the last i will be just fine with that. The first time was a result of stepping into a crosswalk as a car drove past - i was in high school and Jaclyn and i were going downtown for lunch. As we stepped off the curb an older, fellow classmate happened to drive through the intersection. In no way were we in any danger but an over-zealous, pothead police officer happened to see it happen, and pressed charges against him. I had to go testify where exactly i was in relation to the car that day. I dont even remember the outcome of the case, but that certainly wasnt the kids last run-in with the law... He is currently on the Alaska sex offenders list.

The second time, I got picked to (possibly) serve on a grand jury case in Ketchikan. I flew down, got a hotel room, showed up at the courthouse, sat for about an hour, and then was told that our services would not be needed as the defendant pled out. I was all set to head back home the next day, when i turned on the news in my hotel room. That day we had gone to war with Iraq. I freaked out, thinking that all planes were going down the next day (totally ridiculous, i know) and so i canceled my airline ticket. I bought a ferry ticket, and proceeded to board the boat. The ferry broke down while i was in my state room, and was not fixed for 3 days. I finished at least 3 crossword puzzle books in that little room. I know never to overreact like that again.

Today i volunteered to testify in the case of a friend who is being sued for a dog. She found an un-collared beagle at the end of the road, took every step possible to locate the owner, was not successful, fell in love with the dog, and now the owners are suing her to get it back. I am pretty optimistic that the judge will rule in her favor, but a decision wont be reached until after next week.

I would make the shittiest lawyer - i always end up scoffing out loud at idiot behavior.

Crazy Cat

Crazy Cat, originally uploaded by cena76.

This is how our cat Ash chooses to lay down. It elicits a giggle from me every time I see him. Recently he has been very talkative too, when I don't think we heard a peep from him his entire first year. I love how each of our cats have different, unique traits about them. I am going to try and post about each one separately.

Wasty McWasterson

Because of my ever-growing desire to be more environmentally friendly, i have been switching all of my personal debt accounts from paper statements to online statements. In my 13 years of being in debt (yay me!) i have only ever had to reference back to a year-old statement once. I was contesting some kind of charge and it ended up being my fault anyway. I figure that if i have to again in the future, it had better be as easy as the click(s) of a button. Well, my AT&T Universal Card just has to be different... This is the one card i have had since i was 18. I would really like to remain loyal and continue our relationship, but they keep sending me these: (boldness added by me for effect)

Dear CENA M MARTIN:

Your AT&T Universal Card statement is now available at www.universalcard.com. This notification is part of the All-Electronic Program you enrolled in to receive your statements online only instead of the mail.

Blah, blah, blah...

We hope you continue to enjoy the many benefits of the All-Electronic Program.

I know i could try calling them to request that they STOP SENDING ME PAPER, but i would just end up being passed around between departments, wasting my time and theirs. So instead i will let them continue to spend their time sending paper to customers who have requested them not to, and bitch about it online. Hasnt that become the American Way?

Chop chop!

The other night zieak made himself a meal consisting of egg noodles and kielbasa sausage. It is actually very good for how cheap and bland it is. Well, he didnt use the entire package of sausage, so zip locked it and threw it in the fridge. When i went to use it the next night, i started laughing so hard tears poured down my cheeks. You got me sweetie.

I F#$&ING HATE DELL

Feel free to skip this post as i am only typing out my frustration at one of the worst companies in the world. They have wasted almost 3 hours of my life with no resolution. Its not a problem that stops me from doing anything, it is just a slight hassle that their goddamn technical support technicians should be able to fix for me.

I bought this brand new computer just 2 months ago. Last thursday i downloaded an update for my anti-virus software, AVG. When the system tried rebooting after the update, it stalled on the DELL logo screen. I tried troubleshooting myself first, but did not get anywhere. I called their 800 number for technical support and got "Andre." He proceeded to troubleshoot with me for over 2 HOURS, determining that it would not boot up if the Dell printer was plugged into the usb port. We uninstalled and reinstalled the printer, changed all kinds of settings, nothing. Then he put me on hold for the trillionth time, and i was disconnected. Dial tone. Yay. I called back from my cell phone just in case he tried calling me back on the land line. Of course he didnt. The lady i got this time said he would call me back, that i just needed to wait.

So, i waited until today. 5 goddamn days. I dreaded calling back because i knew it would be a hassle. And they did not let me down. Of course i wasnt allowed to talk to "Andre" i had to reiterate my entire problem to "Mark." Even though he said he checked the documentation about the last call he proceeded to walk me through the exact same things as Andre. I stopped him and said i refused to uninstall and reinstall again, that this is all a big waste of my time. He asked to put me on hold "for 2 to 3 minutes" which stretched over 5... I hung up completely furious. Now i just have to unplug the printer every time i start up the computer. Oh well. I also want to discourage my friends and family from ever buying a Dell product in the future. Not only do they waste HUGE amounts of paper sending out catalogs to people who have requested that they stop, their customer service and technical support SUCKS.

Whew. Rant over.

AWESOME UPDATE: I tried fixing it myself and now my computer is all levels of f#$&ed up. Yipee!